The beginning of ashram life

It's my second night at Sivananda Ashram in Neyyar Dam, Kerala. There are cockroaches the size of my thumb here. My mosquito net has holes in it. I have to wake up at 5:20am every morning. I'm freaking hungry ALL THE TIME, even straight after I stuffed my face at brunch or dinner. I love it here. Despite all the "negative" things of the place, I find it strangely calming in a way. I'm hoping I will be able to use this experience to help me overcome my fear of cockroaches and maybe one day we can live in harmony... (If my master plan of eliminating all cockroaches from planet earth doesn't succeed that is...) I will become stronger and fitter (and thinner) by the time I leave. I will learn to appreciate my food even more. MAYBE I will learn to wake up early even as a daily routine in life! One thing I'm struggling with is my attachment to the outside world. The fact that I have been unable to turn off my cellphone just yet shows my lack of separation from outside. There are too many people in my mind everyday, those I'm worried about, those I miss, those I care for, those I love... That will be my goal for the week, find that courage to switch off my phone and feel that it's okay that I can't be contacted, and maybe find some answers to other questions along the way! P.S. I love my room mate and the yoga thus far is been very gentle, but I think the intimidating part starts tomorrow..........

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I don't feel ready....

I'm at the end of my 7th week in India and tomorrow I'll be travelling to Sivananda to start my intensive 4 weeks teacher training program. I don't feel ready after the kind of indulgent holiday I've been having here, eating various good food, shopping at cute little boutiques, and lazing around like a sloth. I'm not ready for ashram life eating only 2 meals a day, working harder than I use to in my job, doing +4hrs of yoga everyday, etc. Everything seems a bit overwhelming suddenly and I'm nervous. What if I fail my teacher training? Is it possible to fail? Will I fail because I'm not good enough? Will I be able to do so much yoga on only 2 meals a day? I'm just not that sure.

Fear has been following me around in the past few days, and today when the driver asked me what time I want to go to the ashram I was so shocked that the holiday is coming to an end now! Somehow though, I felt so much better and calmer after speaking to the new friends I made whilst I was at KYM and I feel that I'm able to go and face my ashram life a bit better now. All I hope is that my room mate at the ashram will not be the type who will annoy the hell out of me ha ha ha.......

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A brief update

It's been difficult to keep up with blogging with a lack of stable internet access, general laziness on my part and being zoned out mainly during my days in India. Temperature is rising and Kerala's humidity doesn't make things any easier. A/C is a luxury where you always have to pay more for, and "can I have ice with that please?" seems to be a saying I hear myself ask more frequently than ever.

To sum up what I've been up to in the last few weeks before I forget (which I probably wouldn't but that's beside the point...):

I was in Chennai for just over 4 weeks where I did a course called the Heart of Yoga. Amazing school, wonderful teachers, a tradition in yoga that is so wise I hope I can share everything I have learnt with everyone. Met a bunch of amazing people from all different countries and backgrounds, all of whom I have learnt so much from and I look forward to seeing them again in different places in the future.

Then I went to Assagao, Goa for 2 weeks for a yoga retreat at Purple Valley where my friend Han from Australia joined me. Here we did Ashtanga yoga with Kino Mcgregor and Tim Feldman who are apparently "celebrities" in the Ashtangi world. I learnt part of the primary series up to Navasana where we practised in Mysore style every morning. Very different to my experience in Chennai as it was more physical intensive than my previous 4 weeks. Here I ate a lot of salad and Macrobiotic food prepared by Sayuri Tanaka which was truly amazing, especially after a very starchy diet in Chennai. My days were filled with lying around by the pool tanning, eating at the retreat as well as venturing out to try out different restaurants, ashtanga yoga, day trips to markets, beaches, Old Goa, spice plantations, chai time, shopping, etc.

After 2 weeks of hard work of yoga, eating and relaxing, we moved onto Fort Cochin for 3 nights where we were joined by another friend Ivy from Taiwan. Shopping and eating continued.

A quick 1 hour drive took us from Fort Cochin to Alleppey, the Backwaters of Kerala. We spent 1 night on a houseboat, an experience I will recommend to all friends and family, maybe even enemies as it is truly amazing. Even before I left I was thinking of when to return... The houseboat then dropped us off at a heritage homestay called Emerald Isle, only reachable by boat, where we spent 2 nights. Here we did absolutely nothing except just BE.

We left the homestay today and it was very sad. I'm now on a car on my way to Trivandrum, some 130km from the backwaters, yet it takes 3 hours to get there... There will be many follow up posts in the months ahead for more detailed stories of my travels. Right now I need to eat lunch! Hungry....

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